Talking to…myself?

A friend and I were discussing blogs recently (if you can imagine that). She is a communication major and was talking about the idea that blogs are a form of communication, and is that communication one-way? You might get comments, so then it’s two-way? Or you might get a ton of followers, then is it media? She is interested in increasing her readership, hoping to help other folks perhaps, by sharing her own struggles. I told her, though, that I rarely tag my posts, that I often write them in Italian so as to keep them private. For me, posting is more like writing a journal entry. Except that I want the information out there, out…here. Why is that? Am I talking to myself here? For only my own benefit? And what benefit is that?

I started way back in the day with a LiveJournal account, and that one, I gave out to friends and family. And sometimes, I felt like it was a way to get things across to other people…and sometimes I felt constricted by that same readership because, well, hey, it kind of sucks to read that your sibling is pissed at you, or thinks poorly of you…no one wants to read that. Except I recently read a blog where the author did just that. And since she is a famous-ish author (ok, so I think she’s famous, but right now I can’t remember her name – when I think of it I will put her in) I am pretty sure that her family could see what she has written. If they chose to.

And my good friend that started me back on the blog track has friends and family reading and she is blisteringly honest and straight forward. I’m not saying she blasts friends and family, because she doesn’t, but she is very honest about her feelings, her depression, her anxiety – things other people may not be interested in hearing. Of course they can choose not to, but the thing is, she puts it out there.

So my question to me is…why am I hiding? What would happen if people read my blog (which, hey, someone might, right?)?

Is this a simple case of “if people knew the real me, they’d run screaming?” I kind of thought I grew out of that.

I totally just went back and checked my earlier posts to see how bad they were. I swear, I am paranoid. Or maybe I really am mean. I do have an ex who used to call me “Shredder.”

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