Socialized to care about relationships

My therapist told me recently that one difference I might find in relationship with a woman is that women are “socialized to care about relationships” whereas men are “socialized to care about themselves.”

In general, I like my therapist. In fact, I usually think he is great. But this stuck in my head and while I understand the point he is making, I find it…sort of wrong.

I mean, I have been in relationships with women all my life – not quite like I am now, but in relationships just the same, and I have to say…they did not all act as if they had been socialized to care about relationships. In fact, some have seemed not to even notice the relationship we were in. Or maybe that is the thing – maybe he meant “socialized to care about their primary love/intimate/partner/marriage/boyfriend relationships?”

More on this later, maybe. It’s percolating.


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